there’s no i by dave shaw

This is a high school story. Male1 receives a text message from Female1. The text reads ‘this party is dead come pick me up’. Male1 tells his friend he needs to go and drive a friend home. Male1’s friend smiles sadly, says whatever. Today is Male1’s friend’s birthday, and maybe ten people are sitting and drinking in her parents’ living room. Male1 leaves and gets in his car. He texts Female1 and asks where she even is. Female1 sends an address that is about ten minutes from where Male1 currently is. Male1 starts his car and drives for about ten minutes. He texts Female1 saying he is outside. Female1 comes out the front door with someone, Female2. They walk toward Male1’s car, laughing to each other. Female1 opens the passenger door and gets in the car, says ‘is it cool if we take her too? she is sleeping at my house tonight’. Male1 says yeah that is fine. Female2 gets in the car. Male1 has seen Female2 at different parties, talked to her a few times, she goes to a different school than Male1 and Female1. Female2 says thank you sooo much. The inside of Male1’s car smells a lot like gin, suddenly. Female2 says ‘where are we going?’ and flips through a book in the back seat of Male1’s car. Male1 says whatever, wherever you guys want. Female1 says she wants to get coffee, she says she could really use coffee, and laughs. Male1 has had sex with Female1 before, on a mutual friend’s couch, actually. Male1 goes through a red-light. Female1 says oh my god are you drunk and laughs. Male1 is not drunk but maybe wishes he was.

Male1 parks in the lot outside of a Tim Hortons. Female1 gets out of the car and runs awkwardly toward the door. Female1 yells come on. Male1 and Female2 get out of the car and walk side by side towards Tim Hortons. Female2 links her arm with Male1 and leans her head on his shoulder. Female2 says she is sooo drunk and not tired at all, and laughs. Male1 laughs nervously. Inside the Tim Hortons Male1 sees his friends Female3 and Female4 talking at a table. Female2 joins Female1 in line waiting to order. Male1 walks over to Female3 and Female4 and says hey. Female4 says hey. Female3 says who are your friends. Male1 smiles, embarrassed. Female4 asks if he is going to Male2’s show on Sunday at that church. Male1 says yeah, probably. Female3 says nothing. Female2 walks over and leans on Male1. Male1 introduces her to Female4 and Female3. Female2 says it’s nice to meet them. There is a pause and Male1 says it was good to see them and says he’ll see Female4 on Sunday.

Male1 drives Female1 and Female2 to Female1’s dad’s house. He says have a nice night. Female1 kisses him goodnight and leaves her coffee in his cup holder, where it will remain until it is frozen solid by the cold. Male1 drives home alone with a look of vague regret.

Female1 tells Male1 that he should take them somewhere. Male1 says like where. Female2 says she wants to see his house. Male1 smiles and says right, okay. Male1 drives, flips over the tape in his tape deck. Female2 says she loves ‘indie music’. Female2 asks if Male1 knows MGMT and Male1 says yeah. Female1 drinks from her coffee. Female2 moves to the middle of the back seat of the car and puts her hand on Male1’s shoulder and talks about different things. Male1 nods or smiles appropriately. Female1 looks at Female2. Female1 turns up the volume. The song is by Interpol, who by 2008 didn’t seem that ‘indie’ at all, at least in Male1’s view.

They are at Male1’s house. They go to Male1’s bedroom. Male1’s parents are out of town at a hockey tournament in North Dakota that Male1’s brother is playing in. Female2 puts on a CD by The Smiths. Female2 says she loves The Smiths. Female1 says she needs to go use the bathroom. Male1 tells her roughly where it is. Female2 laughs and says it is because of the coffee. Female2 asks if Male1 has anything to drink in his house. Male1 and Female2 go to the kitchen and Male1 checks his parent’s liquor cabinet and says just vodka. Female2 is standing pretty close to Male1 and, honestly, seems drunk enough anyway. Female2 touches the palm of her right hand to the front left of Male1’s pants and kisses him. Male1 thinks of oranges and gin. Female1 comes around the corner and laughs and says oh my god. Male1 turns and steps back and sort of laughs nervously. Female2 looks at Female1 and smiles. Male1 pours vodka into a glass and hands it to Female2 and says there is mix in the fridge probably. Male1 pours himself a shot of vodka and asks Female1 if she wants anything.

A song by Animal Collective is playing through Male1’s CD player. There is clothing on the floor, only most of it belongs to Male1. Female2 is kneeling at the foot of Male1’s bed and has her mouth on Male1’s dick. Male1 is lying back on his bed, with his head tilted back between Female1’s legs. Female1 has her eyes closed and her left hand on her left breast. Male1 has his right hand on the back of Female2’s head, which is dipping rhythmically. Female2 laughs and pulls off her tights, and climbs onto the bed, lowers herself onto Male1’s dick. Male1 says whoa. Female1 looks at Female2 and seems slightly put off. Male1 pulls his head from between Female1’s legs, sits up and kisses Female2’s neck. Female1 says hey. Male1 kind of whispers sorry sorry this is tricky. Female2 laughs. Female1 says at least do you have a condom. Female2 says oh shit, right, and pulls herself off of Male1. Male1 says right yeah, stands, gets a condom from his sock drawer. Female2 says let’s try uhh, and pulls Male1 back onto the bed, and takes the condom from him. Female2 opens the condom wrapper and puts the condom on Male1’s dick with both hands. Female1 says is that the right way. Female2 say what do you mean. Female1 says is it inside out. Male1 says I think that is only important with those ones with spermicidal lube, this isn’t that kind. Female1 says oh.

Male1 drives Female1 and Female2 to Female1’s dad’s house. Female2 kisses him goodbye. Male1 says have a good night, or, day I guess. Female2 laughs, Female1 says nothing at all. Male1 drives home alone with a look of vague regret.
Dave Shaw lives in canada. He has an ebook called ‘less of everything’ out now via NAP. You can see more of his work at