we’ll be a whole barnyard of fun
I have string pull my string
the pig says oink oink oink
oink oink oink I’m a dirty piggy bathing in mud wearing mud mask shove my face in trough bathe me in trough
you dirty piggy I am the farmer I’m slicing you into bacon into hot dogs into cutlets spiders say you are terrific spiders say you are some pig spiders say you are humble
spiders are right I am some pig I am some terrific pig frying in your pan the bacon says sizzle sizzle sizzle I am some humble bacon
the mouth says yum yum yum
the cow says moooooooooo
moooooooooo chewing on my cud chewing on your cud switch my tail switch flies off my back with my tail I’m so full of milk daylight savings time has fucked up my milking schedule milk me farmer
I meet you in the field your shit is on my boot you see my bucket you see my stool your teats swell I lead you to the barn
chewing cud teats swell for you flies in my lashes long beautiful lashes I’m easy breezy beautiful CoverCow
fill a bucket you milk drinking you raw from bucket a bronze statue of Pastur cries somewhere turn ghost in your milk overalls turn ghost too
make me steak make me ground beef make me an eighty-twenty blend of beef and fat
I put a bolt through your head you crash to the ground stir up sawdust cut you into steak grind you into an eighty-twenty blend the perfect blend for hamburgers curdle you milk process you curds you into cheese put two slices of you cheese on a you burger
the frog says ribbit ribbit ribbit
I’m on a lily pad
I’m on a lily pad
think I see a dragonfly
think I see it too my DNA wants children to see this I jump underwater I lay mounds of jelly mounds of eggs
my DNA wants mounds of jelly I jump underwater I release sperm clouds one sperm cloud looks like a clown one sperm cloud looks like a dragonfly
think I see it too
the earthworm says […] […] […]
you are the soil you are in one end you are in the other end when I move I am eating soil soil moves through me I am half soil a core of you in me
I am the soil I don’t say much at this point
the duck says quack quack quack
quack quack quack
no quack quack quack I have stuffed you I have mounted you to the wall
I am stuffed I am the wall
my friends come over we drink beers I show them my duck I say look at that duck
I am a trophy I am the wall
I say look at that duck my hands stuffed it I show them my hands I pluck your feathers
I am exposed I am the wall
my friends pluck your feathers I pluck more of your feathers to the floor
I am the wall I am the floor
I pull off your bill glue it to my face I glue your feathers to my hands I say look at this duck
I am you
the horse says mooooooooooooo
I put a bolt through your horse head through your cow costume then through your horse head pull the string again
can I be a cow in a horse costume?
no no one animal at a time
the llama says spit spit spit
spit spit spit
spit spit spit
spit spit spit
spit spit spit
need more spit water
spit me too spit
the bear says grrr grrr grrr
this is a bear farm?
this is a bear ranch
no, this is a bear reserve I’m the park ranger you are stealing my picnic baskets
I’m stealing your picnic baskets stealing your sandwiches stealing your honey pots
put a steel trap in my picnic basket hide the picnic basket in my park ranger dress
I am a bear smell your picnic basket hidden in your park ranger dress smell your honey pots in your picnic basket hidden in your park ranger dress
I see you play dead
you can’t trick me park ranger I smell your park ranger dress hidden in your death smell your sandwiches in your park ranger dress hidden in your death
let you rip apart my death let you apart my dress let you rip apart my picnic basket
I eat your death eat your dress eat your steel trap eat you
our farm is a death farm
all farms grow death
pull my string
the chicken says cluck cluck cluck
I climb the fence call for you the sun
can’t hear you in the hen house laying children that won’t be children
I climb the tractor call for you our not children
can’t hear you in a burlap bag
I climb the house call for you the burlap bag
can’t hear you the farmer’s wife broke my neck
I climb the flag pole call for you call for you
can’t hear you in the oven on the plate in the farmer in the farmer’s wife can hear the children that won’t be children now
the coyote says hooooooooooowl
I have dynamite I have boulders I have anvils I have sling shots I have rocket skates I have lasers
beep beep baby beep beep
I will blow the feathers off your ass I will break your speed break your legs
beep beep beep oh beep beep
I will strap us both to a rocket off a cliff into a cliff
baby beep beep beep beep beep oh beep
we’ll be ashes ashes and eyes ashes ashes ashes the side of a cliff
the cat says meow meow meow
there is a position where you as a cat chase after me as a dog where I as a dog chase after you as a cat
the snake says ssssssssssssssssssss
sleeping in your boot
I’m a farmer my cow needs milked her teats swell for me I need my boots
sleeping in your boot
I know where this is going
put on your boots
I put on my boots something is in my boot
your foot tries breaking me I strike your foot
feeling your fangs trying to kick you away
you feel feverish you feel sleepy I unhinge my jaws
I fall down start talking to the ceiling say things I’m sorry snake sorry I disturbed your boot condo sorry cow sorry no one will milk you today sorry boot sorry foot
you fall asleep I become a sleeve I sleeve you in me how wide my jaws spread at your torso I fall asleep too
the horse says neigh neigh neigh
if there are smoking cowboys
we buck them
if there are fields of grass
we graze them
if there are hills
we gallop them
if there are rivers
we cross them
if there are mountains
we mount them
if there are villages
we burn them
if there are salt licks
we lick them
if there are ponies
we parent them
if there are planets
we gallop them
the turkey says gobble gobble gobble
the turkey is unsexy
make unsexy sexy slap my face with your gizzard
Chad Redden is the author of a little book of poems about Thursday called Thursday (Plain Wrap). He lives in Indianapolis where he edits NAP.
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