Do you have a body?

I have a body.

Is hair part of the body (take into account wigs and weaves)? Is hair part of your body?

I have a body that hair is a part of. Hair is a part of my body in many places. I am not too hairy, though. I think if I was too hairy it would be a constant source of anxiety. Hair is a part of the body as are fingernails.

Do you have any cool mutations? Double jointed? One eye a different colour from the other? Vestigial tail? Webbed toes? Two left feet? Eyes in the back of your head?

My cool mutations number many and you have listed a few. There is a reason I do not like pictures of myself on the internet. TLC has contacted me several times in desperate attempts to have me star in my own (freak) show. One day you and I will be together in a room and we will be quietly. The dark will let me show you things I keep hidden. You will do your best not to scream and I will kill you afterwards because that is a) what i normally have to do and b) you will be begging me to.

If you had to cut off any part of your body, which part would you choose? What would you do with it after you cut it off?

If I had to cut off any parts of my body it would be my thighs. I have spoken about this throughout my life. One thigh I would cut into bite sized pieces and sauté them in a non-stick fry pan in olive oil and the recipe I would use to prepare them would be one advised by a Michelin starred chef where it’s flavored enough to taste like God came in your mouth, but not enough to where it won’t let the inherent flavors of the thigh meat be the hero of the dish. I would pay naked gay men to watch me eat this dish. The other thigh I would feed to a starving German Shepherd and I would masturbate while he tore it apart.

If you could fuse an inanimate object to your body in the place of the part you cut off what would it be?

I would infuse pats of butter to where my thighs used to be.

Tell me about scars.

The scars tell us where we have been.

Tell me about statues.

The statues do too.

Tell me about voodoo dolls.

Voodoo dolls are purposeful.

Tell me about Barbie dolls.

Barbie Dolls were my homemade porn.

Tell me more about scars.

There are so many scars and you can’t see, and you can. What come attached to scars are questions and also, stories. Scars are placeholders. Bookmarks. They are so much or they are not. Scars.

Tell me more about statues.

Statues are similar to scars but in a way where there is no hurt. Statues are things that were once inside a person, that were once inside a material, that are now outside; beautiful, ugly or otherwise. Statues also hold places. Statues.

Tell me more about voodoo dolls.

Voodoo dolls are made of hair and skin or they are just burlap with fingernails and blood and spells dripped all over them. You should not touch a voodoo doll. There is nothing nice about a voodoo doll. Voodoo dolls.

Tell me more about Barbie dolls.

I had a box full of Barbie dolls. When you cut their hair, it doesn’t grow back. You can cut off your pajama sleeves and sew up one end and make a sleeping bag for your Barbies but you might get punished for doing that so be careful. This one Barbie doll had a yellow and black dress. This other Barbie doll had a white fur coat. All of them had little, slip-on high heels. One time, my ugliest Barbie doll got trapped in ice by the other, more beautiful Barbie dolls and her skin turned blue because I colored her skin with blue marker because she was freezing, you see? Barbie dolls.

Tell me, is the mind part of the brain? And if so is the mind then part of the body?

Yes, the mind. Yes the brain, the body.

Is it sexist that the word ‘body’ includes all the letters in the word ‘boy’ and none of the letters in the word ‘girl’?

Now that you mention it, yes, it is sexist about the word “body” not having any “girl” innit but I am not surprised.

What is your favourite thing to do with your body?

The favorite thing to do with my body that isn’t sex is sleeping. I am so boring.

Do you have a soul?

My soul is better than I have ever been/will be. I am trying to reach it.
 
 
xTx is a writer living in Southern California. She has been published in places like The Collagist, PANK, Hobart, Puerto del Sol, Smokelong, Monkeybicycle and Wigleaf. Her story collection, “Normally Special,” is available from Tiny Hardcore Press. Her chapbook, “Billie the Bull” is forthcoming from Mud Luscious press. She says nothing at www.notimetosayit.com

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