Jackson Nieuwland: Ana can I interview you for UP?
Ana Carrete: what are the questions? is it an easy interview?
JN: idk the next issue is called “the bestiality issue” so my first question was gonna be: How fine is the line between furries and bestiality?
Questions like that
AC: damn seems like i don’t know much about furries/bestiality.
idk if i’m ‘the best choice for that’
i think the line is thick. i think i’m either a closet furrie or i’m turning into one. can someone ‘turn into one’? probably, right? like i’m obsessed with this one picture of a person dressed like a bunny and then the bunny is fucking a girl dressed like sailor moon. that’s one of my favorite pictures ever.
i would never fuck an animal. (is that bestiality? i have no idea). i’m in a public place and i don’t want to google bestiality because people might judge me. okay. whatever. i’m going to google it. wait.
(i was right) (i would never do that).
i think being a furry is probably fun/funny. not ‘sexy’ but fun/funny. i think: funny sex > ‘sexy’ sex.
or like funny= sexy
a person walked by my table and stared at my screen.
JN: What is the hottest animal?
Also, what is the cutest animal?
AC: lol. i see what you’re trying to do.
there’s a lot of cute animals. i don’t know about hot.
the hottest animal is the snake(?)
for cutest i googled: koala, sloth and kitty.
i think the kitty wins.
cute baby cats.
JN: What am I trying to do?
Do you have any pets? Did you have any as a child?
AC: right after i said ‘i would never fuck an animal’, you asked ‘what is the hottest/cutest animal’. seems suspicious.
i don’t have any pets.
i had some fish. they died. i killed them. not on purpose. i had a male dog. we had to give him away. i had a female dog. someone stole her. life is sad. no pets.
JN: I’m really just freestyling this. Asking questions as they come to mind. Being unprofessional. Maybe I’m subconsciously trying to manipulate you.
Is it ‘wrong’ to fuck animals?
Any fav animal youtube videos?
I need to make dinner now. I’ll ask more questions tomorrow if that’s cool
AC: who am i to say? humans are technically animals. i guess. i wouldn’t fuck an animal. i’m attracted to humans.
i’m not a vegetarian. i eat meat.
i like a lot of animal videos:
damn. i youtube’d ‘cute baby sloths’ and found this video:
yes that’s cool. i need to do homework
JN: Do things like dragons and goblins count as animals?
What about centaurs or merpeople? They’re half human. Would you fuck one of them?
You know cougars? Like old woman cougars? Is that bestiality? Cause it’s like an animal and a young man having sex. Will you be a cougar when you get old?
AC: i would probably have oral sex with a merperson. but not centaurs cause ‘ouch’ cause they’re horses ‘down there’.
dragons and goblins count as animals.
i am a cougar.
JN: where is the line between showing affection to an animal (patting it or whatever) and bestiality? is kissing okay?
AC: lol. i don’t kiss animals. whenever my bitch kissed me, i would be like ‘ugh’. i think kissing is okay though. but i don’t like to be liked by dogs/other animals cause they smell bad.
JN: do/would you wear fur?
AC: like a fur coat? real fur? or fake fur?
AC: oh. real fur is expensive.
well, it depends on the type, right? i think i’ve worn real fur via my mom’s/grandma’s closet.
JN: would you buy real fur though if you had heaps of money?
AC: um maybe i would buy expensive fake fur that looks like real fur.
JN: if someone sleeps in a bed of furs is that both bestiality and necrophilia?
AC: lol. maybe if the person fucked on a fur carpet. no, wait. maybe if the person masturbated on a fur carpet and rolled around it. moaning and stuff.
Ana Carrete tweets @ana_carrete. Her first full length collection of poetry Baby Babe is forthcoming from Civil Coping Mechanisms (2012).